My friend and I were picking up some items from a nice neighborhood in a local town.

As I was loading the trailor, the neighbor lady walked out of the house carrying a sewing machine. I could tell her attitude was like dark thunderstorm clouds.

If you had been there, you would have heard:

Me: “Good afternoon.” (cheerfully)

Her: “Hi” (gruffly)

Me: “My mom has a sewing machine like that.” (cheerfully)

Her: (No answer and I could feel the hailstorms plummeting me from her cold shoulder).

Did you catch my mistake?

On a scale of 1 to 10, her attitude/mood was about a 2. I greeted her with an attitude/mood level of 8.

It made her even more upset.

Those of you who have invested in the Conversation Success System know the importance of matching other people’s moods.

When they are cheerful, greet them cheerfully. When they are feeling down, don’t be too cheerful. Match their mood and then slowly become more cheerful. You will help get them out of their bad mood.

By mismatching her mood, it irritated her further.

Did I lose any sleep over it? Nope!

But I did learn my lesson.

Check out the Conversation Success System

That group of exclusive cool people. Some were on the inside, others on the outside. I was usually on the outside.

Even if you were not in the cool group, you still had your own clique. Some called us outcasts. Those outside the cool clique had one question:

How do I become part of the cool cliques?

I thought once I got to college there would be no more cliques. I was as wrong as the guy who said, “No one will want to buy a laptop.”

Cliques are everywhere. School, church, work, professional life, community, and more.

Here are four tips for joining virtually any clique and become part of the “in” crowd.

1. Be cool and not irritating

Not as hard as some people think. Improve your likeability, conversation skills, and stop a few irritating habits. Only 30 minutes with the right techniques can do wonders. The secrets are in the Conversation Success System.

2. Build relationships with individuals who are in the click

This is very powerful method. As you seek to use techniques from the Conversation Success System you will build those relationships. You will soon be part of the clique.

3. Add value

Recently, I visited a chess club. These 5 strangers were part of the chess clique. After 10 chess moves I was accepted and part of the group? Why. I showed I am a very good chess player. I bring value to their group.

4. Be Patient

You usually can’t break into cliques overnight. It may take weeks or months. However, apply the above strategies and you’ll be able to break into virtually any clique.

When I coach individuals, I’ll find that many feel intimated or uncomfortable around individuals who are more successful or popular: