Think or imagine that you have a spotlight. And in the conversation you can shine that spotlight on yourself or on the other person. When I am asking a question, and listening, I’m shining the spotlight on the other person. However, if I’m just talking about myself, and ignoring the other person, then the spotlight is shined on me.

The secret to talking with a girl is to keep the spotlight shined on them. Girls love to talk and they love to converse with a guy who is listening. So, what you want to do is ask questions about the girl and show genuine interest. Be genuinely interested in what she has to say and what’s going on in her life. Learning some conversation starters will help here.

Recently, I was talking with a girl. I said, “Hello. What’s new with you?” She shared a few things about her life and I asked some questions. The whole conversation went well because I was shining the spotlight on her. Now, here’s something to remember: though we already keep the spotlight shining on the other person, we need to shine it back on ourselves from time to time. When they ask a question, we need to make a comment, we need to talk also.

So don’t always keep the spotlight on them, bring it back to yourself when they ask a question about you and answer the question. But as you remember this, shine it on them, ask questions, and listen your conversation skills will improve and you will be able to talk with a girl more confidently.

Starting a conversation with a girl can be a somewhat difficult task, especially if that person is a girl whom you either like or feel uncomfortable around. This article is about how to start a conversation with a girl. There are three simple steps that make beginning a conversation easy.

How to Start a Conversation With a Girl

First, you need to approach the girl. Now depending on your shyness level, that may be difficult. Just do it…very simple. After you approach the girl, you want to start the conversation by saying something. And one of the best words to say when starting a conversation is “hi.” You could even say, “Hi, my name is -,” and state your name. Now that you have approached the girl and said hello, you have done the hard part and on your way to a conversation with the girl.

Next, you need to ask a question. Well, you might be wondering, “What question do I ask?” Pretty much anything will do, but here are a couple good ones: If you are at a party, you could ask, “How do you know the host?” or “What do you enjoy about the party?” Any of these questions will start the conversation.

So to review, if you want to start a conversation with a girl, it’s not that hard. Just approach them, say hi, and then ask a question to get the conversation going.

Today’s question comes from Sam L.

"I feel pretty shy around girls. There are times when I want to talk to them, but not sure what to say. What conversation tips do you for me?"

Hello Sam,

Sorry to hear about your struggle. There are several moments in my life where I can remember being in your situation and too shy to talk to a girl.

I do have some good news for you! Many guys have had the same struggles (many still do), but were able to break free and build meaningful relationships.

Here are some tips to starting conversations with Girls.

First, remember that the person you feel shy about talking to, is another human being also. They likely struggle with some shyness and would probably feel flattered if someone came up and talked to them. Don’t be intimated.

Second, Act confident. Put a smile on and have good posture.

Third, Start with a simple Hi. After Hi, ask a good question that will start a conversation. If you are at a party, ask, "What do you enjoy about the party." Most questions will work.

Then Listen. Nod your head, ask questions, and show interest. If a guy listens, girls will enjoy talking with them.

There’s more, but start with this. Remember they are human, act confident and smile, and finally walk up, Say "Hi", and ask a question.

Austin Barnes