Conversation Success Blog

Dating can be fun, but also a little awakard if you run out of things to talk about on a date. Today’s question comes from a reader who asks:

"My question is about dating. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m dating someone who doesn’t have much in common or is it just I don’t know what to talk about on a date..? What do you suggest?"

When I was single (and before I upgraded my conversation skills), I experienced a few dates with some awakard silence. What’s the answer?

A couple ideas.

First, great friendships and relationships are based on common interests and connections. Just something to keep in mind as you go forward with your relationship. Keep searching for common interests.

However, you cane definelty improve the conversations on the dates.

What to talk about on a date?

Before a date, think of 5 questions you can ask and 5 fun facts you can share.  When I say fun facts, think of something interest that has happened to you lately or something else you think your date might be interested in.

You can check this out for some example questions

As the date progresses, just start working through these.

When your date is talking listen for conversation nuggets.

If your date says, "I played volleyball in highschool".

Take the nugget and say, "Cool, what did you enjoy about it?:"

This will keep the conversation going.

These are just a few ideas to  get you started. If you want to thoroughly upgrade your conversation skills, check out the "Conversation Success System"

 Have a great day,

Austin

PS. Feel free to submit your question by clicking on the button above this page. We are just on day 3 of our "Answer your Questions Marethon".

Do you struggle with shyness and find it difficult to speak to differebt people? A reader asked this question:

I am terribly shy and find it very difficult to speak to someone I do not know. Being in sales, this is not a good thing.  I am very confident in my business knowledge, but sometimes come off as abrupt.  How may I soften my delivery and give a warm fuzzy feeling to people I speak with and still get the message across?

I too struggled with shyness early in sales. Actually, I still am tempted to be shy, but I have learned to deal with it. There are two issues:

First, how to overcome the shyness and talk to people.

Second, how to have a warm presence so people like you and feel comfortable in your presence.

How to Overcome Shyness

A quick way to help with shyness is to ignore the feeling, and just go talk with the person. What helps is to have a few good conversation starters. Then it is just a matter of getting in the habit of walking up to a person and asking the question. OVer time your shyness will get less and less.

Don’t forget that many times others are just as shy as we are!

How to have a Magnetic Personality

Softening delivery is pretty simple with two techniques. First, you want to smile. Smiling makes your voice sound friendly. Second, think of a mental image where you would be talking softly/warmly to a person. It could be a child, a best friend, etc. This mental image will help put you in the right frame of mind to talk in a warm way.

These two ideas will get you started. I talk more on this in my Conversation Success System

 As for improving in sales. This is a very motivating book and one of the best:

Have a great day,

Austin

Starting today, March 09, I plan to answer a readers question every day for the next thirty days. Feel free to submit questions here:

Today’s question comes from Sam L.

"I feel pretty shy around girls. There are times when I want to talk to them, but not sure what to say. What conversation tips do you for me?"

Hello Sam,

Sorry to hear about your struggle. There are several moments in my life where I can remember being in your situation and too shy to talk to a girl.

I do have some good news for you! Many guys have had the same struggles (many still do), but were able to break free and build meaningful relationships.

Here are some tips to starting conversations with Girls.

First, remember that the person you feel shy about talking to, is another human being also. They likely struggle with some shyness and would probably feel flattered if someone came up and talked to them. Don’t be intimated.

Second, Act confident. Put a smile on and have good posture.

Third, Start with a simple Hi. After Hi, ask a good question that will start a conversation. If you are at a party, ask, "What do you enjoy about the party." Most questions will work.

Then Listen. Nod your head, ask questions, and show interest. If a guy listens, girls will enjoy talking with them.

There’s more, but start with this. Remember they are human, act confident and smile, and finally walk up, Say "Hi", and ask a question.

Austin Barnes